Herald Journal

Serving the communities of Howard Lake, Lester Prairie, Winsted, Watertown, Mayer, New Germany, Waverly, MN and the surrounding area

Reflections on being a hockey dad


BY BRAD SALMEN

DC Enterprise Dispatch Sports Editor

Last year, I wrote a column that included a line about never wanting to become a “stereotypical hockey parent.”

The column was about the exprience of coaching my son Lars in baseball. How I wanted to always be positive, help the kids grow, make sure they had a good time, etc., while at the same time ensuring they grew as baseball players.

What was implied by that line was that hockey parents are basically entitled jerkwads.

It’s an easy line to throw out there. We’ve all seen  the online videos of youth hockey parents acting like well, jerkwads.

I might still be adhering to that line today, had not Justin McKinley convinced me at the last minute to sign my son Isaac up for Squirts hockey last fall.

Now here I am, an unabashed and unashamed hockey dad.

Sure, some people might think I’m a jerkwad, but that doesn’t have anything to do with hockey.

***

I’ll admit, I was nervous for Isaac when we joined the program last October.

For one, the program had started in September, and we were already behind.

For another, while I know Isaac’s a good athlete, most of the kids had a big step up on him after being in organized hockey for two or more seasons.

And sure enough, after a month of five-days-a-week practices, when the tryouts were held to divide all the players into the Squirts “A” team, and the Squirts “C” team, Isaac was put on the C team.

He was pretty bummed. Most of his friends, the kids in his grade, were on the A team.

But I wasn’t surprised, nor was I upset.

While Isaac made big strides during that month of practice, I am objective enough to realize he was still a half-step behind his classmates on the A team.

After the team announcements, I told him candidly that I thought this was the best thing for him.

“You’re going to get a lot more ice time, improve more rapidly, and gain confidence,” I told him. “Keep working hard, and you have a chance to be one of the best players on the team.”

***

Shortly thereafter, a bunch of strangers – parents of the kids on the Squirts C team – gathered into the LDC Civic Arena meeting room to meet the Squirts C coach, Jake Pettit.

Jake, as he always is, was candid.

I’m going to play kids evenly, teach them to the best of my ability, and let them have some fun, he told us.

And don’t be a jerkwad, he added. Your kid isn’t the next Wayne Gretzky.

I left the meeting with what I consider to be a prize – I volunteered to be the “Parents Rep.”

This meant, in essence, that I would be the team’s book- and stats-keeper.

While it meant I would have to be at every game, I was planning to anyway, and as a sportswriter I love keeping stats. As a bonus, it meant that I would be exempt from “Dibs.”

Dibs is the term used to describe the hours spent working in the concession stand. All families are required to have 20 dibs hours, unless you are a coach or Parents Rep.

***

From that point on, a bond was formed, and grew.

Both between the boys, and the parents.

For the boys, the bond came quick and easy. They were together 4-5 nights a week, in the lockerroom, on the ice.

Plus, they jumped out of the gate winning their first 10 games in a row, and nothing builds a bond like being part of a winning team.

For the parents, it was much more tentative. Initial recognition head nods and brief “How ya doin’s” slowly gave way to genuine conversations and connections.

By the end of the season, in which we had all seen each other for over 30 games, and taken a weekend trip to Hudson, Wis., we all felt comfortable together.

Most importantly, the bond between myself and Isaac grew stronger than ever.

I tallied it up, we spent over 40 hours together in the car driving to games and practices. And in that time, we talked about everything under the sun.

I wouldn’t take that back for anything in the world.

***

For the record, there was only one instance of the “stereotypical hockey parent” this season.

While we had a few parents on our team get excited about calls and non-calls this year, none reached the level of abuse.

The only instance of that I saw was at a tournament in Willmar. We were playing Waconia in the championship game, and late in the third period one of the Waconia kids went down hard into the boards.

As he was being tended to, the kid’s dad, who looked like he was on a strict regimen of steroids and regret, charged down the stands and started screaming at the refs.

When the refs refused to call a penalty (rightly so, the kid basically fell on his own), he took it as a personal affront to his entire lineage and became apoplectic.

Building security escorted him out of the arena, but on the way out this meathead threatened to “meet [the ref] in the parking lot.” Which led to the cops being called.

It was pretty wild.

Fun fact, our boys ended up squirting frosting on this madman’s cake by winning in a shootout.

That win was but just one of many for the boys. Overall, they had a great season – they won a lot of games, and scored a lot of goals, but it’s Squirts C, so who’s counting?

***

I was. I was counting. That was my job.

Our boys finished the year with an record of 30-4-1. We outscored our opponents by an average of 6-2, and finished second in our district tournament.

We had a great coaching staff of Jake Pettit, Matt Kadelbach, Andy Twardy, and Steve Black. They transformed a group of kids with raw talent into a team that connected with each other.

And as for Isaac? He took the advice and guidance of those coaches and ended the year as the team’s leading scorer, with with 48 goals, 27 assists, and 75 points.

I’m so very proud of you, bud.

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.